You know that feeling you get when you read through your old posts? You feel embarrassed, flustered and angered at the same time. It’s quite strange actually. Really strange. You feel nostalgia and you can recall all the memories and all the things that had past through your mind the moment you wrote them all. You get this kind of oh-god-why feeling, as if you absolutely hated what you had posted and you want nothing more but to go back in time and give your past self a big, “Stop right there. You’re doing it all wrong.”. But when you read them over and over, and you notice all your mistakes and all the weird terms you used in the past, you can’t help but notice how much you’ve changed.
I used to not care about what I looked like. I used to not bother on what people thought about me. I used to not wish for a better life with a good body and a great height. I used to not care. I was carefree and I didn’t let anybody stop me. What happened?
I read through my old posts again and I fought the urge to delete them all. How could I? I knew it myself that I didn’t want to delete them. You know, it’s quite weird once you read through your old posts and you notice how much of a carefree person you were before. I give props to my old self about that.
But I got interested again, and I thought.. What a waste would it be if I actually deleted these all! So I’ve decided to keep this blog alive by writing more and I’m planning to stay this time. I’m also planning to not delete my old posts, just to see my writing development and read through them again after a year. So I’m back. 🙂 Xx